KT #781

Golden ticket winner cashing in for the first time, introduced as a firefighter from Louisiana; his first name was pulled from the bucket by 'Stage Four' as the show's opening pick. His minute was about a discount hair salon called Wonder Cuts in Denham Springs, Louisiana (he lives in the Baton Rouge suburb), which triggered a long Yelp-review bit that ate most of the first segment. Tony noted he made a long drive to be at the show.

Tony's critique was that he crammed roughly ninety seconds of material into his minute; the interview covered his real French surname, having no kids, gambling, a trip to Nairobi, moving to Maine for a girlfriend and taking a comedy break, and time spent filming inside 28 different jails, first bucket pull of the night and his first time on the show. Twelve years in comedy, based in New York, grew up in Maine, and works as a reality-TV producer on a police ride-along show.

His set and interview centered on his mother-in-law's pancreatic cancer, the recent overdose death of a fellow comic he called Michael Head, and his late son, culminating in a much-discussed story about building his disabled nine-year-old son a remote-controlled 60 mph wheelchair he raced behind a truck in Colorado, while returning bucket pull (he repeatedly referenced a prior appearance, which annoyed Tony). Claims 30 years in comedy, performing mostly in hospitals, nursing homes, hospices and churches, and says he is ranked ninth in the world in one-wheel electric boarding around Austin. The panel called it one of the most morbid interviews the show has had.

Interview covered loud neighbors he kept calling 'MC Hammer' (which became a running joke for the rest of the episode), a long list of substances he went to rehab for including meth, and a notably mundane meth anecdote about pre-dawn bus trips to Walmart, while returning bucket pull, four years in comedy as of June, originally from Houston and in Austin since college, turning 49 the following week. Reported back that he had taken Tony's earlier advice on his job search and is now an IRS-certified tax preparer who has done taxes for several mothership comedians.

Material covered a childhood habit of soaking her hair in the school bathroom sink and why she got into stand-up. Brand new minute from a Kill Tony staffer who got her full-time job with the show out of the bucket and manages Tony's schedule. Tony called it probably the set of the night to that point and praised how authentic the premise felt; Jeff Arcuri agreed the simple setup worked because it was personal. Tony noted he can see her open-mic grind because her own appointments accidentally land on his calendar.

Recurring favorite, introduced by Tony with a joke that he had a golden ticket winner arrive but was not sure Laser actually is one, calling him a 'growing scumbag favorite of the show.' Minute covered a recent trip to Calgary, Canada and COVID vaccine material, delivered raw enough that Tony warned parts would have to be bleeped for YouTube. Interview was mostly a story about sleeping with a porn star he had long admired, plus a claim that he is training for a fight and sober, which Tony immediately disputed.

First time ever doing stand-up, age 22, from Northern Virginia and now living in Austin working in tech sales; youngest of six, family runs a wedding business, jeff Arcuri gave him staging notes about the mic stand and keeping his head up on punchlines, the interview turned into a long bit about his shower routine when he admitted he owns exactly one washcloth and changes it every two to three weeks, then a story about his very conservative father being arrested at a Virginia school-board meeting and pardoned years later.

Interview covered headlining and selling out Tampa for the first time after 11 years of going there, prepping a special and Madison Square Garden, and the reveal that he used to be a band drummer, leading Tony to propose a drum-off with the house drummer in a month, while doing a brand new 'minute plus', introduced as the former Dark Storm of Atlanta, Georgia and now the Dark Storm of Austin, Texas. Ran roughly two and a half minutes entirely on the premise that science used to be sexy and that the moon landing was about cheese; Tony held it up as how an extended set should be done.

In the interview he kept giving deliberately absurd joke answers about his shower and a date that supposedly ended in a seizure, then admitted none of it was true. Bucket pull, doing comedy since 2021, originally from California, started in Manhattan then Las Vegas, and moved to Austin on Mother's Day. Works prep and dishwashing at a West Lake country club and lives in a studio apartment.

Opened his minute on having attempted suicide three times; Tony's main note was that leading with that subject is a tough open and advised giving the audience a reason to like him first, and the show pointed viewers to its mental-health sponsor. Bucket pull, three years in comedy, currently doing DoorDash and odd-job gig work, does jiu-jitsu and spends summers at Barton Springs. The interview walked through the attempts and his current depression, plus an awkward gig assembling an elderly client's furniture, and he described his relationship as a no-labels situationship.

Material on being a late bloomer in middle school; Tony said the closing punchline was better than anything he wrote in his first three years and praised her natural physical mannerisms. Interview covered how shy she is talking about herself, that she has never witnessed violence, and a first-grade suspension for building a toilet out of snow at recess and making other kids use it. Brand new minute from a mothership regular and full-time Kill Tony employee who moved to Austin after a breakout earlier appearance; only a year and a half into stand-up and has worked at the club since November, having quit a job as a golf professional.

Set was about dating in her sixties and men on erectile-dysfunction pills. Interview covered two major surgeries including having all her upper teeth removed, which she attributed to being a survivor of domestic violence, and cervical cancer surgery; she also brought Tony gifts out of her fanny pack including a pool-cue chalk holder and a belt buckle, and asked to smoke on stage, which Tony refused, last bucket pull of the night, returning after about a year. Started comedy in 2019 in the Bay Area, has been a call-in personality on a San Francisco rock morning show for 11 years, and retired and sold her car to move to Austin and pursue comedy.

Rapid-fire joke-dense set on internet rabbit holes, the Epstein emails, religious texts and Amazon listings, which drew a standing-ovation-level reaction; Tony called him one of the best comedians working today and said nothing can stop his trajectory. Interview covered trying to get sleep before Madison Square Garden, which will be his first ever trip to New York, being about a year and a half into living in Austin, and admitting he mostly replies to commenters on Instagram and missed Tony's congratulations message on being made a regular, while closing set of the episode, introduced as the show's climax and 'a freak of nature' kept chained up all week.