KT#778 - JIMMY CARR

50-year-old truck driver from Kentucky who hauls drill cuttings in the North Dakota oil field; Tony joked about the Confederate-general name and called him 'Stone Cold Steve Awful.' Not his first time on a stage (a few sets at an American Legion in Kentucky) but this was his Kill Tony debut; quit drinking about 14 months ago after a decade on meth and one jail stint, and is currently on trenbolone. The interview ran long over his prison slang ('stainless steel shit jack' = a toilet), which Jimmy Carr praised as poetry; got a medium joke book.

Kill Tony debut and the first woman of the night; first tried standup at 19, roughly 14 years ago, but mostly off, back at it seriously for about seven months. Did an untested bit about a game she invented while a psychiatric patient ('Deadpool Pans Labyrinth') after her comic boyfriend talked her out of the minute she had prepped for five hours. Works as a life coach at $150/hour with about a dozen clients and was diagnosed with schizophrenia last year; the panel hammered her over her unknown success rate and she pushed back on the feedback, which Tony called resistance. Got a medium joke book and was told to come back prepared.

Canadian comic, about 12 years in, who started standup in Vietnam after washing out of the poetry scene, did seven years there and a couple more in Bangkok teaching English. Was temporarily banned from flying into Vietnam over a COVID-era residency-card violation and a $740 immigration fine, which is how he ended up stranded in Bangkok. Moved to Austin from Vancouver about two and a half months ago; his riff on Texas friendliness being 'upfront' rather than passive-aggressive genuinely impressed Tony. Mentioned his father recently died of an undiagnosed genetic disease; earned a big joke book for having actual jokes.

Kill Tony debut; 15 years in standup come November, started in Tallahassee, mostly Florida with a couple of years in LA, and moved to Austin about six months ago to grind mics. Day job is dispatcher for a AAA-type roadside provider; also a screenwriter who studied a semester in London and is a Jimmy Carr fan. Set was a true story about being repeatedly blindsided by a special-needs high school football player and getting other teams to hit him back. High point of the episode: Tony arranged his 'first Austin kiss' with a Vietnamese woman named Megan from the crowd. Also does joke WNBA under bets. Got a big joke book.

Regular, introduced as the Black Shogun / Dark Storm of Austin, doing a brand new minute about babies crying because they remember the nut punches you gave their father, and a long riff on trail mix being a dry smoothie that needs M&Ms. Extended interview turned into a raisins-versus-M&Ms debate with Tony and Redban, plus plans for a Delta-8 trail mix and beef jerky line. Told the story of doing 23 days in a Japanese jail after someone left drugs in his bag, calling Joe Rogan to get him out, and teaching cellmates to write letters to the judge.

Introduced as a rising star and one of the elite door guys at the Comedy Mothership, doing a brand new minute (the 'legend of bags and boxes'), so treated as a regular rather than a bucket pull. Set was about quarantining racists in Antarctica and teaching the crowd 'black words' (cologne, discreet, innuendo) via wordplay, which Jimmy Carr praised for its writing. Said he nearly died a couple of months ago when his lungs gave out from heavy weed smoking and he stopped breathing for close to an hour, but refused to be intubated in front of his kid; has a four-year-old autistic son and a one-year-old daughter, and still smokes. Plugged a song on Spotify and unlocking phones after the show.

First time ever doing standup; lives in Denver and works as a DJ, previously managed a strip club, which fed his bit about a near-blind stripper named Wildfire. Closed on a garbled stoned-mushroom pun that landed badly. Told Tony he signed up just because he is a big fan and wanted to say so, which Tony treated as exactly the thing he warns people not to do, so the interview was cut short with no joke book. Surname spelling is the weakest in this dataset; captions gave at least four different versions.

Returning comic from Toronto, Canada, who has been to Texas seven times in the past year; introduced as someone Tony recognized from the bucket rather than as a scheduled regular. Set covered shooting guns for the first time and getting a USA chant in Dallas, closing on his wife being pregnant, which Jimmy Carr said should have been the opener. Wife is 38 weeks pregnant and he flew into Austin the day before just for this show, flying home the next day; it is their first child, a boy, and the panel spent the interview inventing terrible first names to go with Packer. Says his own dad's parenting plan was simply 'he was around.'

Had been on the show before but admitted mid-interview he has bad stage fright and did not want to be on stage anymore. Surreal one-liner set (fish, hypochondriac friend, hating crows because of Jim Crow laws) that Jimmy Carr liked for its individual voice, though Carr told him to drop the closing race joke. Homeschooled in Springfield, Illinois; brother is autistic and lays concrete for a living while dressed head to toe in Supreme. Was a Marine infantryman on a Marine Expeditionary Unit with a bit over a month in Iraq, where he got in trouble for loading a magazine upside down and cried mostly from the heat and from camel spiders chasing his shadow. Got a big joke book.

Returning fan favorite whom Tony said he was secretly rooting for; a year and two months into comedy, based in Houston, online math teacher, has cerebral palsy, was three months premature and uses crutches and leg braces. Set covered being bisexual, being accused of being a Blood, her mother's insults and getting fake breasts; she went viral on her previous appearance for catching the joke book after calling it a hate crime. Interview covered a new German-Mexican boyfriend with one testicle whom she met at Kill Tony signups, reuniting with her father in South Korea after 14 years (he offered to pay for eye surgery instead of caring about her 4.0 master's degree), and her birthday being the next day. Tony invited her onto the panel for the last three acts, where she became the de facto second guest; single-name spelling is a guess.

About six months into standup in Raleigh, North Carolina; came to Austin on vacation five days earlier and is considering moving. Set was a run of wordplay about plastic plates, glass ceilings, Dollar Tree versus Family Dollar and cheap condoms. Torpedoed his own interview by saying he does not know if he likes H-E-B because a store made him bring his own bags, which turned the room and the panel against him; volleyball and having worked at Jimmy John's did not help. Yaehee, on panel, visibly tried to find him a redeeming quality. Revealed he was born with one testicle, matching Yaehee's boyfriend. Got a small joke book and an invitation to come back with a different minute.

Final bucket pull of the night, in overtime; 11 years in comedy, known to Tony and Redban from the LA scene, moved to Austin six months ago for the comedy scene. Tight set on a girls' trip to Dubai, kickboxing so she has something to talk about in the abduction van, and peeping toms being a male-dominated profession; Jimmy Carr told her to open with the Kegel line. Answered the H-E-B question correctly with a bit about seeing a man holding a pigeon in one. Ukrainian but reads as Latina, and offered to prove it by speaking Russian; physically picked Yaehee up on stage, which Tony shut down over lawsuit fears. Got a big joke book and a Secret Show booking. Surname spelling is uncertain.

Closed the show as the super regular, introduced by Tony as possibly the perfect specimen of a comic who writes a new minute every week and the fastest rising comedian in the world. Dense one-liner set on squirting, fake tears, rough sex, horse riding as the Texas abortion, and rape-versus-incest exceptions. Jimmy Carr gave him the biggest compliment of the night, praising four great jokes back to back, perfect delivery and persona, and the visible work behind the set. Tony hyped his upcoming Madison Square Garden debut, Las Vegas arena dates and an upcoming hour, plus a recent San Diego weekend where audiences stood up mid-set.