KT #783 - GARY OWEN + BRIAN SIMPSON

First bucket pull of the night. Originally from Boston, now living in Austin, about one year into standup. Works two jobs: bouncing at the Dizzy Rooster on 6th Street and a day job at Spencer's. Set was a graphic colonoscopy story delivered in a heavy accent with extra sibilance, which became the whole interview - Tony and the panel riffed relentlessly on whether he sounded gay, and he threatened to spit on Tony if the impressions continued. Said his father was a state trooper who was hit by a Prius and died two years later; he is now sober and trains Muay Thai and Krav Maga.

66 years old on the day of taping and a working professional rodeo clown for 42 years under the name 'Hollywood Harris'; brand new to standup. Born in Waco, Texas, raised in the cattle business, rode bucking horses through high school and college before clowning. His son, who performed as 'Boogerhead' from age two, is now 33 and works PBR and Madison Square Garden. Long, rambling injury story about a bull hooking him over a fence and stripping his pants off, and a second story about a long-lost son who found him via an Ancestry DNA test at a rodeo in Bryan, Texas. Tony gave him a big joke book despite calling the minute only okay, purely on the strength of the interview.

Return appearance roughly a month and a half after his previous set. A Mexican man with a Russian father, a Russian name and a thick Russian accent who has never been to Russia, plus a gold grill. Minute was about the new Moana movie and Hollywood being replaced by YouTubers. Interview: does electrical work and was recently promoted to quality control, which he kept joking involved slitting throats; drives a 1972 Chevrolet; plays poker and haunts pawn shops. Said he met Patrick Warburton at a Comic-Con in Belton, Texas after his last appearance, along with Amy Jo Johnson, the original Pink Ranger.

Visibly drunk and said he hadn't expected to get pulled. Explained that Alan Fox is a stage name because his real surname is Kim and everyone in Austin assumes he is related to Hans Kim, then spent his entire minute on Hans Kim instead of doing jokes. 35 years old, from Chicago, about one year into comedy, and a Toyota salesman for three years. Admitted to a seven-year heroin habit he quit, which became the running comparison point for the rest of the episode. Tony's closing note was that he is wrong about what's interesting about himself.

Regular, introduced as the Dark Storm. New minute was entirely about his fear of using porta-potties, which the whole panel then piled onto, including Brian Simpson's deployment trick of layering toilet paper to stop the blue water splashing. Interview revealed he lived in his car for three years. He traced the material to a night after a crab boil at Carlos Sosa's house with Matt Muehling, when his Lime scooter died mid-walk home and he had to sprint, and he capped it by improvising a full song about the incident with the band.

43 years old with roughly 50 sets accumulated over about a decade. Sells flooring at Lowe's, a job he got six months earlier after his window-washing business failed; previously in Utah, then Dallas where his parents live, and only moved into his current Austin house a week before, where he isn't sure whether he has three or four roommates. No wife, kids, pets or plants, and the panel's main fascination was how genuinely content he seemed with all of it. Brian Simpson driving at that contentment was, by Tony's own account, one of the highlights of the show.

Kill Tony debut, started standup in November of the previous year after being asked to do a set at a Christian rock album release party, where her drug material went over badly. Minute was dark material about sexual trauma and working as a stripper. Retired from stripping five years ago after a night on mushrooms when a customer offered her $20, and now works as a life coach exclusively with women, which Tony mined heavily. Mentioned disc golf as a hobby.

Golden ticket winner of the episode. Deadpan minute built around searching for a missing person named Glenn, complete with a photo, that got one of the biggest reactions of the night. From Pensacola, Florida; four years of regular standup; lived in New York from 2003 to 2007 driving a yellow cab, then Chicago and New Orleans, quitting comedy after New York and restarting post-COVID in Pensacola. Has epilepsy from being hit by a car. Currently sells cabinets and says he's had over 40 jobs. He spent nearly all his money attending both Madison Square Garden shows and had $100 left; Tony booked him on Thursday's Secret Show, covered his hotel, and awarded him the golden ticket, and Brian Simpson pledged him $100.

Just turned 60 and by far the longest interview of the night. Minute covered turning 60, six years in the Air Force and fourteen years in federal prison, and a bit about eating a whole bag of edible cookies. From Orange Mound in Memphis, Tennessee; was a food inspector in the Air Force; went to prison over drugs and describes himself as a retired pimp, delivering a stream of pimp aphorisms that had Brian Simpson and Gary Owen in hysterics. Owns a men's clothing store called Upsize Fashion in the Rolling Oaks Mall in San Antonio, does alterations himself, and runs a 65-seat comedy room behind the store with a series called 'Fashion Will Be Funny'. Tony pulled up the store's reviews live and found a 4.5 rating. Has five kids. Won a big joke book.

Final bucket pull, and notable because he works at the Comedy Mothership, so getting pulled was a surprise. Tight minute about a homeless man telling him you have to spend money to make money, and a bit about small talk at a urinal. About seven years in standup: started in North Carolina, nine months in Alabama, the rest in Austin, where he has worked for about three years after managing a Westlake coffee shop. Co-hosts a podcast with Pat O'Neill. Tony compared his voice and delivery to a hybrid of Norm Macdonald and Shane Gillis; Redban invited him back to the Sunset Strip.

Closing regular, introduced by Tony as his favorite comedian in the world to watch right now and one of the greatest regulars in the show's history. Short, brutal new minute of one-liners that landed hard. In the interview he said he was thrilled to see his podcast partner Grant Adcock get pulled, and described a road trip across the country with Martin Phillips and Hans Kim in which Martin did the driving. Tony closed by telling the audience to protect him and his brain.