KT #776 - BRIAN MOSES + DAVE LANDAU

First bucket pull of the night. 59 years old, first time doing stand-up ever ('first time doing anything'), recently moved to Austin about a month prior. Set featured a Ross Perot 'Indecent Proposal' impression and a list of movie titles about his life. Interview was a brutal run of tragedy in his 58th year: broke six bones in his back falling off a ladder, sold his house as-is, mother died, brother died of sinus cancer, and his 12-year-old Great Dane died; inspired to try comedy by the late comic Brian Herszy. Tony's verdict: you can break his bones but not his spirit.

Kill Tony debut despite 40 years in comedy, and the second 59-year-old in a row to open the bucket. Started in his hometown of Rochester, NY (Yuk Yuks, the Funny Bone), was in LA roughly 1996-2003, worked as a writer and feature act, and now works cruise ships. Moved to Austin three weeks earlier. Set was all bits about dating Black women ('white Jackie Robinson' per Brian Moses). Dave Landau recalled opening for him in Pennsylvania and remembered his fake $300,000 bank receipt pickup trick; he also carries a Red Cross donation card to dodge condoms. Performs with Quinn Dahle.

Introduced by Tony as a one-word name, no first name given. First time doing stand-up; the minute was a rambling grievance about a man in Harley leathers drinking a Frappuccino in front of him, plus a one-liner that old people look like fish. Claimed to be a 'brand ambassador for multi-million dollar companies,' which the interview revealed means handing out samples at Costco. Has one non-working eye from a finger poke during an unsanctioned boxing fight in El Paso about four years ago. Got a medium-sized joke book.

Roughly seven going on eight years in comedy and a familiar face on the show. Works as an exterminator doing pest control in Austin, originally in his dad's business in Massachusetts. Set compared exterminating to being an ICE officer for squirrels, and joked about his work truck being broken into three times. Interview highlights: black widows and rattlesnakes, rats in Sixth Street bars, and a long story about drowning a rat in a bucket while doom-scrolling. He is vegan and sober, and is saving up on an exterminator salary to propose to his girlfriend of three years. Tony invited him back on the secret show.

Third appearance and by far his best; about four years in comedy out of Fort Worth/Dallas, where he is part of Roast Battle DFW. Works at a restaurant plus contract construction and landscaping labor. Tight, dark set about suicidal ideation, Better Help, ceiling fans and gym fans that landed huge. Dates fellow comic Shawn Butler, a single mom of four kids (ages roughly 4 to 13) by two dads, who performed later in the episode; he blocks the bedroom door with clutter as a kid alarm. Fishes and plays pool, has no Wi-Fi or TV.

Brought up on the spot as Trenton's girlfriend; second time on the show, the last being about two years ago. Single mom of four from the Dallas area, worked with infants for over a decade, currently in braces. Set drew on the womb/weighted blanket theory of comfort and a run comparing babies to cocaine. Interview turned dark: her friend and fellow comic Henry Cruz was killed by a hit-and-run driver in Deep Ellum while she watched and tried CPR; the driver was caught weeks later but not yet prosecuted. One of her sons, now 11, is a savant who does open mics with her. Dave Landau had seen her at Roast Battle the night before.

Regular with a brand new minute, billed as the Dark Storm of Austin and later the Black Shogun; ran about two minutes as usual. Set was about not having to prove you are autistic to buy Legos, an autistic friend who would not stop assembling a Transformers set, and an ex-girlfriend who poured the milk before the cereal. Just released from jail in Japan (out on Juneteenth) after his case was dropped; the interview covered 23-day mandatory detention, 24-hour lockdown, the leather-brick pillow, no beds and no ramen, and helping two Yakuza cellmates write letters to the judge to make bail. Lost weight in there doing roughly 700 push-ups a day.

Kill Tony debut after 12 years in comedy, mostly New York City, starting at the Stress Factory. Was in town opening for Dave Landau at the Mothership that weekend. Lives in Fort Lauderdale but was moving to Austin on July 16. Set was pro-America material about Europeans arriving for the World Cup and Don Lemon calling middle-aged white men apex predators. Works in content for a veterans' benefits company (vetclaims.ai). Says Austin women look like they are getting over a fever; hooked up the previous night after trolling the White Horse.

Montenegrin comic whose first name begins with the letter D-with-a-stroke and is pronounced roughly 'George'; Tony struggled with it all segment. Second appearance, two years after the time he was missing front teeth and asked for reparations; he now has American-made porcelain replacements. Set quoted David Steinberg's book and claimed he would be the first Montenegrin comedian in the world. Admits he has not written a joke in about a year. Says he is 'houseless not homeless', keeps a tent in the woods at Zilker Park but sleeps on benches and in front of churches, cannot legally work, is a former truck driver who let his CDL lapse, quit drugs after finding God in his semi, and rides buses and haunts libraries and Barton Springs for air conditioning.

Local Austin comedian and multiple-time performer back with a brand new minute. Set was a Transformers/Optimus Prime propaganda bit that escalated into an on-stage transformation. Runs the Austin chapter of Roast Battle, booking bi-weekly battles; says Austin ranks third out of 52 cities in the international league, with monthly Austin-vs-New York battles at the Comedy Cellar. Asian comic who jokes he is a 'well-vetted racist.' Since moving to Austin he lost his truck (a Tacoma, sideswiped on I-35 by a guy from Kyle), his mullet, and his dog.

One of Tony's favorite young comics; opens for him in arenas and theaters and has been on panel. Delivered a brand new minute and a half of topical material on war with the Middle East, defunding the TSA before attacking Iran, and an LA remake of 9/11. Moved to Austin from LA on Tony's advice back in the Vulcan Gas Company days, along with Derek Poston; roughly a decade working together between the Comedy Store and Kill Tony. Interview covered his first time having anal sex with a woman in Tacoma, Washington, which fueled callbacks for the rest of the episode. Plugged his podcast The Solid Show, an upcoming Patreon, and tour dates.

Final bucket pull of the night; second appearance, the first about a year earlier. Almost three years in comedy, two of them in San Antonio, now in Austin. Works as a restaurant server and a personal trainer. Set covered smoking weed in the park, a guy whose body count is like his credit score, and a table that called him a retard. Grew up in Chicago until about 13; told a story about getting his bike stolen and pointedly refused to describe the kid's race. Got dumped a couple of months ago and says it is because he is an asshole who made fun of his girlfriend constantly. Tony compared him to a Mexican Pete Davidson.

The closer, billed by Tony as the executioner of Kill Tony. Exactly one minute of his trademark deadpan one-liners with the big physical faces: walking in on his parents, a Michael Jackson impersonator hired for a family party, and his sister's first period. A heckler threw him off at the top. In the interview he recalled his first-ever joke, in Providence, Rhode Island, about 'little person' being more offensive than a slur, and that the crowd rejected it. Tony confirmed he is booked for Madison Square Garden in August and two nights in Vegas; Pat admitted he is nervous about the big rooms.