KT #774 - JOE DEROSA + MIKE FINOIA

First-ever appearance and first time ever doing stand-up; 38 years old, a musician from Wisconsin who plays bars. Drove 19 hours to be there. Did no written jokes, just a bit about doing enough drugs to meet God who told him to clean up and drive to Kill Tony, then started making beat-box noises until Tony cut him off. Tony called it one of the worst-received sets he has witnessed in ten years. The stage name spelling is a guess from the captions.

Kill Tony debut. 34, born and raised in El Paso, Texas, about ten years in comedy, drove roughly 8.5 hours. Half Puerto Rican, half black. Works as a security guard for Sun City Security (restaurants like Chico's Tacos) and previously worked at a sex shop selling dildos. Material on cyberbullying, his bullying alcoholic dad and an eye-patch/treasure-map bit that Joe DeRosa praised for its joke construction. Won a joke book.

A Comedy Mothership door guy who has been on the show numerous times over the last five years, back with a brand new minute; Tony called him the only non-debut bucket pull of the night. Set on a homeless man's question, trans jokes and going to an all-black high school. Interview: divorced about a year ago (ex works at a comedy club where he used to run shows), nine months sober off kratom capsules and going through withdrawals, living with his mom 90 minutes outside Austin and driving in daily, doing Uber Eats to afford seeing his daughter. Tony offered him a spot on the secret show. Social handle given on air as Adam Luckey.

Kill Tony debut, drove five hours from Houston, turning 31 the following week. Works at Punchline Houston. Tony ran with an 'Amish fat guy' bit and coached him to move the mic stand. Set was about Buc-ee's and hitting on women there. Interview produced his story of hitting on an engaged woman at Buc-ee's empty-handed, and getting oral sex in a cemetery from a Tinder match, at the cemetery where his great-grandmother is buried. Left with a medium joke book.

Kill Tony debut, fifth bucket pull. From El Paso, Texas, four years in comedy, currently on tour (had a Vulcan show later that night). Makes sketches for a living. Set on being fat and being a bottom, and a new belt from Buc-ee's. Bits included failing to zip his Carhartt vest on stage and talk of Terry Black's barbecue. Disclosed being molested at nine by a family friend who bought him a pack of twelve Homies figures afterward, which prompted a Homies explainer from band member Michael. Name spelling is uncertain; captions gave both Javon and Javi Balone.

Regular doing a brand new minute; introduced as formerly the dark storm of Atlanta, now the dark storm of Austin. Set was relationship advice about a friend pointing out his girlfriend Britney's 'giraffe neck'. Interview covered fan gifts including bobcat tails from a street witch and an automatic slingshot, a mock feud with Joe DeRosa refereed by D Madness, and upcoming shows in LA, San Antonio, Houston, Orlando and Miami, plus headlining a festival in Okinawa, Japan.

Kill Tony debut from Lafayette, Louisiana; two and a half to three years in comedy. Works offshore in the oil field on 14-days-on/7-days-off hitches, which sparked a long offshore/onshore runner with Joe DeRosa. Married to Cosmo Elizabeth, whose name is tattooed on his arm in Wu-Tang font. Set was tips for getting a hot wife, including the women's shelter 'adopt don't shop' punchline. Admitted to past jail time for DUIs and drug possession, a failed burglary of a teacher's $1,000 pillows, and a pending Lake Charles DUI where he threw his drink around the car when pulled over for not signaling. Drove in with Aaron Heltz.

First set ever. Lives in Austin about three years, married roughly five years to an underemployed musician she met on Facebook; they are in couples therapy. Works as a health and fitness coach. Read her jokes off a large piece of paper, and Tony's main note was to memorize the material. Set was about therapy, Texas and her husband. The interview turned into a long run about Redban losing six pounds in two weeks on an all-sandwich diet. Tony was unsure whether the surname is Knight or Knights.

Kill Tony debut, one year in comedy, mostly at Cold Town Theater open mics in Austin. From Azerbaijan (captions mangled it as Abjan/Asan). Set was a Nike slogan runner about her divorce and a suicidal friend. Started comedy after breaking up with a comedian boyfriend. Designs dildos for a living, roughly twenty so far including a large 'black edition', which Tony and Redban ran with at length. Joe DeRosa repeatedly praised her. Her social handle was read out as something like Hasanova, so the surname is likely Hasanova but the captions were too garbled to confirm.

Kill Tony debut. 32, originally from Akron, lived in Cleveland the last five years with Hilarities as his home club, nine years in comedy, moved to Austin about seven months ago. Sells mortgage products. Set was a single-premise run about calling thick women after sandwiches (torta, steam bun, banh mi, hoagie, po' boy) ending on 'sliders' for little people. Had not kissed anyone since moving to Austin, so the show ran its Kiss Me segment and an audience member named Steph came up. Tony's note was to shorten his setups.

Kill Tony debut, two years in comedy, lives in San Diego and was in Austin for the week hitting mics. Set leaned on his Hitler-youth look, his barber and moving back in with his grandparents. Tony joked he should change his name for show business, and the crowd chanted it. Said his dad was in prison while he grew up and his mom was 17. Ran out of joke books on stage so his was handed over in back. Surname spelling is the weakest in this episode; the auto-captions never rendered it consistently.

Closed the show as the regular after Tony explained William Montgomery was sick, Ari Matti had added tour dates and Timmy No Brakes was saving material. Brand new minute of three very short, dark jokes about Hitler, TikTok and Queers for Palestine; Tony called the opener the greatest Hitler joke he has heard in 20 years. Mike Finoia said he was like a David Lynch movie doing stand-up. Interview covered that his first regular episode was airing that same day, and a story about telling his landlord he was about to be famous after quitting his job. Tony nicknamed him 'The Real Deal'.